What Happens When You Love the Whole World
by Petra Megami Assari
Summary: Usagi never wanted much out of life. She admits it. And even now she doesn't want much. But things get complicated... especially when she tired to explain to Naru exactly why it's complicated.


Kati: Konnichiwa!   
Petra: It's taken me a while to get this out and this story didn't turn out the way I was expecting it to. I think it turned out better because it was just going to be a serious fic but then it became really funny in the beginning. Hey, what can I say, I just think the picture of teenage girls running around in mini-skirts in the middle of Tokyo is a pretty funny picture.   
Kati: Oh well, go on and read the story.   
Petra: (Not that I think anyone actually reads these notes...)  
  
DEDICATED: For the real heroes out there, who do it simply for us.  
WARNING: A little cussing but it isn't that bad. This is done as though you were listening to someone talking on the phone; you can only hear one side of the conversation. Oh, but they aren't talking on the phone; that was just an example. Also, this story takes place probably around the beginning of Sailor Moon R, Usagi's probably met Chibi-Usa but she doesn't know anything about her future yet.  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon. Wish I did, because if I did not only would I be rich but that would mean I'd be living in Japan!  
  
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What Happens When You Love the Whole World  
  
"I cannot be happy if the people I love aren't happy, which is something of a bitch when you love the whole world." -Lonewolf; What Walls Say (GW)  
  
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Naru-chan! Hey, long time no see! God, I just about had the worst day ever! You know, Naru-chan, I don't want much out of life; in fact, in the past, I didn't want much to begin with but, as always, things got more complicated. At first I just wanted to live happily ever after; nothing particular, just wanted to be happy after I finished high school or maybe even college. Hey, don't laugh! There was a chance I might have gone to college... a small chance, but it was still a chance! Oh, shut up! Do you want to hear this or not? That's what I thought! So, anyway, I still want that, it's just now I know more specifically exactly what happily ever after means. I just want to marry my Mamo-chan and have my friends beside me for the rest of my life. I really don't think it's that much. I mean, it's not like I dream of ruling the world or anything, right? Like that would happen anyway! Hey, it's not THAT funny!  
  
Well... now that you've finally stopped laughing, may I continue? Thanks... My life isn't easy though, in fact, it's pretty hard. My, but you're in a laughing mood today, aren't you? Yeah, I know... You're asking 'my life'? 'Hard'? It's very hard, sometimes even verging on deadly, but again, most people don't know that. Do you want me to wait for you to stop laughing? ... I'm waiting... What? Why? It's because I have to hide a very big aspect of my life from a lot of people. I really shouldn't be telling you this, but for any of my life to makes sense I have to... I really should have told you a long time ago, it just got so complicated and then it was over and I thought I wouldn't have to... anyway, I'm getting off the subject. Before I tell you why my life is so hard you have to promise not to tell Luna-neko. Promise? ... Um... yeah... Luna is my cat... Haha, very funny! JUST PROMISE THAT YOU WON'T TELL THE DAMN CAT!!! Sorry... sorry... Just promise? Great!  
  
Anyway... here goes. I'm the beautiful sailor soldier, protector of the world, Sailor Moon! Hey... hey! Stop laughing you jerk! WHAT?! NO, I am NOT kidding! Fine, fine, I'll just show you the easy way! MOON CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE UP! Oh, yeah, NOW you believe me. Stupid idiot... One sec just let me power down. Well, now you know! Hey! OW! Stop hitting me! I told you I didn't have time and then I thought it was over so there would be no point. Yeah... y'know, it really sucks no one else knowing. I mean, I don't ask to be worshipped for what I do, I just want to be respected and understood. I mean, I save the world every day and everyone thinks I'm just some ditzy teenager.   
  
Do you want to know what my day is like, Naru-chan? I go to bed around ten or eleven and then, at two or three in the goddamn morning my wristwatch, which also doubles as a communicator, beeps and wakes me up. You wanna see it? Okay, but don't press any buttons! Anyway, so I have to wake up at two or three in the morning and crawl out the window, out into the chilly cold air in only my pajamas. Then, I have to transform into a MINISKIRT and run through Tokyo in the middle of the night. I am a teenage girl, running through the streets of Tokyo, in the middle of the night, IN A GODDAMN FREACKIN' MINISKIRT! It's a miracle no one's tried to kidnap me yet! Then, when I get there, I'm so tired and disoriented from the lack of sleep that I can barely walk straight, let alone dodge attacks and throw tiaras or swing a scepter in the direction of the damn bloody monster.  
  
I know that I'm crappy at fighting; I'm one of those 'make love not war' type of people. So then, as if I knew I didn't know that I was doing a crappy ass job, Rei-chan (she's Sailor Mars by the way) starts yelling at me and then pretty soon everyone else is too. By the time I finally dust the monster I'm tired and irritable. Finally, after a quick chat about the monster and what it was doing, I manage to somehow crawl home to bed. I lay in bed for an hour, my mind whirling with the wonderful thought that I'm still alive; that air is still passing through my lips. I will see my parents and my friends tomorrow. My family won't wake up in the morning and wonder where I am. I still have the chance to see my family one more time, have one more chance to tell them exactly how much I love them. I can't sleep with my brain sitting there and simply recalling every single reason why I am glad that I am alive. As soon as my brain calms down, I try to fall asleep, but I can't. My brain begins to replay all the times one of my friends or I almost died. So, it's usually five or six by the time I actually fall asleep. I get, hopefully, four or five hours of sleep a night and that's if I'm lucky!  
  
Then, one or two hours after managing to fall asleep my mom calls and tries to wake me up. I'm so out of it I rarely ever even hear her and then she yells at me for not listening. I run to school and, no matter how hard I try, I can't stay awake. I try, I really do, especially now that everything always seems so much more precious after my little brush with death. Just seeing my teacher, being able to sit at my desk one more time, seems like the best thing in the world, but I can't keep my eyes open. People should be thanking me but, instead, I'm getting yelled and called a failure... funny, the way life works out.   
  
I save the world everyday but all anyone can do is yell at me about the fact that my grades are low. Does anyone wonder why it's so low, when it seems I'm always out studying? That's because I'm jumping around, IN A MINISKIRT, trying to destroy monsters that want to take over the world. I am the only thing standing between world destruction but, to everyone else, I'm either a legend or don't exist. It's not a happy life but, if people were to know who I was, I wouldn't be the one to pay, my family would. My life really isn't that great. I mean, I'm not trying to be ungrateful or anything, but I really would like someone to just look me in the eye, just once, and say 'thank you'. Naru-chan...? ... ... ... ... You're welcome... C'mere and let me hug you. I'm tired, Naru-chan, but you know what, I think you just made it worth it. Listen, I have to go meet Ami-chan and the others, but do you think I could stay the night here? Really, you and your mum wouldn't mind? Thanks... Well, I'll see ya. Yeah, I know... I'll be there for you too. Oh, and Naru-chan, just knowing your safe always made it worth it before...   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Well, there it is. What'd you think of it?   
Kati: Remember, praise or constructive critism only, please.   
Petra: I just want to say thanks for reading! I know that this isn't the best fic in the entire world but I don't think it's the worst either. In reality, I think that if anyone had to go through this, it would get a little tiring after a while. I mean, Usagi's getting yelled at all the time and while I know it's kinda her fault, it's still a little unfair. This teaches a lesson. Just because someone appears one way, doesn't mean you don't owe them for something they, inadvertantly, changed in your life.  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


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